Introducing: The Food Racism
This article is dedicated to people who eat animal flesh, and, have an issue with those who don’t. After having countless debates with some of the proudest meat eaters, I am now convinced that they can’t sleep at night because of how puzzled they are by the meat-free culture. They roll in their beds thinking about all the vegans, vegetarians, fruitarians, etc., and wonder – “how do you get your proteins, mother f**k**s?!”. Now, that question, should be strictly voiced by Samuel L Jackson!
“If someone is refusing to eat a mighty-meaty burger is probably, more than likely, possessed by the devil. The number of times they called a priest for me – is ridiculous!”.
It’s like some people just can’t handle anyone straying away from their herd, and they have to poke fun at you with their high school level jokes – “you want some grass with your fries, baa!”. After that, everyone at the table starts to openly discuss your diet, as if they are suddenly experts in nutrition. With their mouths full of bloody steak, they mumble – “how you gonna get your vitamin B12? I heard your, erm, burrito is likely to go stale, if you know what I mean”, “you have to see your doctor once a month, cause your teeth might fall out! That’s what they said over the news, uh huh”.
The worst nightmare is when you find yourself in a meat-only restaurant, with whomever invited you there, and try to negotiate some meatless food with the chef. The attention you can get at that point is more than unnecessary – “heeey, look at him getting a special case treatment, order just like everyone else and be a man! What is that hippie sh#t you’re asking for? A salad? Oh for crying out loud…”.
Yeah, it happens, just when you think it’s the 21st century and your lifestyle choices should be tolerated in society, some people start looking at you as if you’re a unicorn which just flew out of a space portal! Obviously, they will treat you differently. The only problem with this, is that I’m not a mythological creature, nor I have joined a terrorist group or started injecting hard drugs into my groin, I have only changed my eating habits! So why would anyone discriminate now? Just because I don’t consume meat, doesn’t mean I’m a wuss, otherwise it is as logical as a tobacco company stating – ‘’you’re not a real man if you don’t smoke’’.
I swear to God, it’s like if you don’t have meat in your fridge you belong to a different race, and when it comes to sports, the carnivores go – “we won’t train with the ’’meatphobes’’, they are too weak and too low on energy to train with us”. Maybe we should start building separate gyms so that no one feels offended, cause you know, everyone is so sensitive these days.
As a rule of thumb, I get asked dumb questions – “dude, how do you get all the nutrients for your bones and muscles?”, as if I have refused to breathe for the rest of my life so they are asking me – “how do you get all the O2 for not dying, bruh?”. Meat is given too much importance, it’s being praised over the top while it’s ridiculously far from being vital to us. There are so many healthier options other than meat, that I find it hard to wrap my head around the fact we still torture animals. I am not going to bore you with “studies show this, studies show that”, because we live in the information age, and after the health and fitness industry boom people are obsessed with wellness. So unless you’ve been cast away with Tom Hanks since 2001, you should know enough about meat.
For some people dieting is a trend they follow, and it’s almost impossible to keep up with all the names of all the different diets – “excuse me, waiter! I don’t eat that, I told you I’m a Mayonarian, that’s when you only eat mayonnaise! How can you not know that, jeez!”. That’s annoying, I agree, but I personally never make a scene if I find meat in my dish, especially not with my grandmother who went through hunger in World War II, try explaining to her you’re a vegetarian – “my grandson is what you say? Does that mean you’re gay?”.
The idea that humans are carnivorous, is truly beneficial only to those who sell meat products. Anatomically, we are herbivorous, but I don’t judge anyone for their food choice.
If one’s prejudice is based on what I eat or don’t eat, then, that’s food racism right there.